We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
and i looked up. we had an audience...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
