I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
