he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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