She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
high people should be assigned attendants
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
