Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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