His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
