you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
