just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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