Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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