ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
