she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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