So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
