Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
