Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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