i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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