Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
