i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize