Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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