Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize