I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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