He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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