you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
