sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I enjoy the company of your penis
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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