Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
