so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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