found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
