Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
