Whoa Z and x make the same sound
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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