would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
where does the pee come out of this thing
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
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my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
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she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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