we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
