dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
