we have pet lesbian snakes
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
