Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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