the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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