Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
