if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize