Come see our sink grown plant.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
he's single and there are thong briefs.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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