We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
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