Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize