I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You're a waste of cheezeits
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
We need a shit load of segways right now
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
