I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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