You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
