yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
