Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
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Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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