yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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