Did you just see the Batmobile???
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
how do you play pong handcuffed?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
