I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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