i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
