ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize