If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
