I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
