Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
