he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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