just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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