Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
